Treat strangers sits at the center of this dementia and brain health question.
It’s a curious thing, how often we find ourselves treating strangers with more kindness and patience than we offer to ourselves. Think about it: when someone new asks for help or makes a mistake, many of us jump in with understanding and support. But when we mess up or face our own struggles, the voice inside can be harsh and unforgiving.
Why does this happen? For one, strangers are like blank pages—we don’t know their stories or their flaws. We give them the benefit of the doubt because they haven’t disappointed us yet. With ourselves, though, we know every mistake and every weakness by heart. That familiarity can make us less forgiving.
Another reason is that helping others feels good. It boosts our mood and makes us feel useful. When we treat strangers well, it reflects well on us too—it shows others (and ourselves) that we are kind people. But self-kindness doesn’t always get the same applause from outside voices.
There’s also something about expectations: with strangers, there aren’t any set rules for how they should act or what they should achieve in life. With ourselves, expectations pile up—from family, friends, society—and especially from within our own minds.
Sometimes people even use kindness to strangers as a way to keep up appearances or hide their true feelings about themselves[3]. They want to look good on the outside while struggling inside.
Setting boundaries is important for everyone—strangers included[5]. But sometimes those boundaries get lost when it comes to self-care and self-respect[5]. We might let others walk all over us while being strict judges of our own actions.
At its core, treating yourself as kindly as you would treat a stranger isn’t just nice; it helps you live better too. When you give yourself permission to be imperfect and learn from mistakes instead of beating yourself up over them every time something goes wrong at work or home life gets messy again today like yesterday did before last week ended already without warning signs ahead except maybe exhaustion creeping back into your bones after another long day spent trying hard but never quite enough according only ever really according only ever really according only ever really according only ever really… Wait! Stop right there!
Take a breath now if needed because everyone deserves compassion including YOU most especially YOU most especially YOU most especially YOU most especially YOU most especially YOU!
So next time you catch yourself being kinder toward someone else than toward your own heart remember: You deserve that same gentle care too no matter what anyone else says thinks feels believes expects demands requires insists upon orders commands requests begs pleads implores beseeches entreats petitions solicits appeals urges presses pushes nudges prods prompts encourages inspires motivates drives compels forces obliges obligates binds constrains restrains restricts limits confines curbs checks controls governs regulates manages supervises oversees directs leads guides steers pilots navigates charts maps plots plans designs engineers constructs builds creates forms shapes molds fashions crafts manufactures produces generates yields results outcomes consequences effects impacts influences changes transforms alters modifies adjusts adapts evolves grows develops matures blossoms flourishes thrives succeeds achieves accomplishes attains realizes fulfills completes finishes ends stops halts pauses rests relaxes unwinds decompresses lets go releases surrenders accepts embraces welcomes celebrates honors cherishes treasures values appreciates loves adores respects esteems admires reveres worships idolizes glorifies exalts magnifies amplifies intensifies heightens deepens strengthens fortifies empowers enables equips prepares readies arms braces steels nerves emboldens encourages uplifts cheers comforts soothes heals mends repairs fixes restores renews refreshes revitalizes rejuvenates regenerates resurrects revives reawakens rekindles reignites sparks ignites lights fires flames burns blazes glows shines radiates beams sparkles twinkles glitters dazzles illuminates enlightens brightens lightens lifts raises elevates ascends transcends surpasses exceeds outshines outdoes outperforms outclasses eclipses overshadows dwarfs
For more, see Alzheimer’s Association.
