Why is my uncle with dementia refusing to wear shoes, saying he’s “walking home to the farm”?

Dementia can cause confusion and disorientation, leading to behaviors that may seem strange or concerning to family members. Your uncle’s refusal to wear shoes and his belief that he’s “walking home to the farm” are common experiences for people with dementia.

As dementia progresses, individuals often lose their sense of time and place. They may believe they’re living in a different period of their life, such as when they were younger and lived on a farm[1]. This explains why your uncle thinks he needs to walk home to the farm – in his mind, that’s where he should be.

The refusal to wear shoes could be linked to several factors. People with dementia may forget how to perform daily tasks like putting on shoes[1]. They might also experience discomfort or sensitivity in their feet, making shoes feel uncomfortable. Additionally, the desire to walk barefoot could be connected to memories of walking on the farm without shoes.

It’s important to approach this situation with patience and understanding. Instead of arguing or trying to force your uncle to wear shoes, try redirecting his attention or finding compromises. For example, you could suggest comfortable slippers or offer to “help him get ready for the farm” by assisting with putting on shoes[1].

Creating a structured routine can help reduce confusion and provide a sense of security for people with dementia[5]. Try to maintain consistent meal times, activities, and bedtimes. This predictability can help your uncle feel more grounded in the present.

When communicating with your uncle, speak slowly and clearly, using simple language[5]. Break tasks into smaller steps if needed. For instance, instead of saying “Put on your shoes, we’re going out,” you could say, “Let’s sit down. Can you help me put these shoes on your feet?”

Remember that your uncle’s behavior is not intentional but a result of the changes happening in his brain due to dementia. Showing empathy and adapting to his needs can help make both your lives easier during this challenging time.

If you’re finding it difficult to manage these situations, don’t hesitate to seek support. Caregiving for someone with dementia can be emotionally and physically demanding. Consider joining a support group or speaking with a healthcare professional for additional guidance and resources[6].