Why is my mother with dementia convinced she needs to pay rent to the couch?

Why is My Mother with Dementia Convinced She Needs to Pay Rent to the Couch?

Dementia can cause strange and confusing behaviors in our loved ones. One common issue is when a person with dementia becomes fixated on unusual ideas or beliefs. This might include thinking they need to pay rent to inanimate objects, like a couch.

There are a few reasons why this might happen. As dementia progresses, it affects memory, reasoning, and the ability to understand reality. Your mother may be mixing up memories of actually paying rent in the past with her current surroundings. The couch might represent “home” to her confused mind, so she associates it with needing to pay rent[1].

Dementia can also cause hallucinations or delusions – strongly held false beliefs. Your mother may be experiencing a delusion that the couch is her landlord or that she owes it money somehow[9]. While this seems illogical to us, it feels very real and important to her.

Additionally, anxiety about finances is common in dementia. Your mother may be worried about having a place to live, and paying “rent” to the couch makes her feel secure. Or she may be trying to maintain a sense of independence by insisting she can pay her own way[1].

It’s important not to argue with her about this belief. That will likely just upset and confuse her more. Instead, try redirecting her attention to other activities when she brings it up. You could also play along briefly, perhaps “paying” the rent for her with Monopoly money to ease her anxiety[1].

Make sure to inform her doctor about this behavior. They may want to evaluate if medication adjustments could help reduce her confusion or anxiety. With patience and understanding, you can help your mother feel safe and cared for, even when her mind is telling her strange things[1].