Why is my grandfather with dementia asking why his wife won’t come home, even though she passed away?

When someone has dementia, their brain doesn’t work like it used to. Your grandfather’s memory is affected, so he may not remember that his wife passed away. This can be very confusing and upsetting for him.

People with dementia often have trouble keeping track of time. Your grandfather might think it’s a different year, when his wife was still alive. He expects her to be there, just like she always was before.

The loss of a spouse is really hard. Your grandfather’s brain might be protecting him from that pain by making him forget she’s gone. It’s easier for him to believe she’s just away for a while and will come back soon.

Sometimes people with dementia mix up past and present. Your grandfather might be remembering times from long ago when his wife would go out and come home later. Those old memories feel very real to him.

It’s important to respond to your grandfather with kindness and patience. Don’t argue or try to convince him his wife is gone – that will just upset him more. Instead, you can gently change the subject or reassure him that she’s okay.

This behavior is a normal part of dementia, even though it’s hard for family members to see. Your grandfather isn’t doing this on purpose. His brain is struggling to make sense of the world around him[1][2].

There are ways to help your grandfather feel more comfortable. Keeping familiar objects around and sticking to routines can be soothing. Photos of his wife might provide comfort too. The most important thing is showing him love and support during this difficult time[3][5].