Why is my aunt with dementia sobbing over a letter she never received?

Your aunt with dementia is likely experiencing a complex mix of emotions and confusion due to her condition. Dementia can cause memory loss, difficulty processing new information, and changes in mood or behavior[3][5]. In this case, your aunt may be crying over a letter she believes she should have received, even if it doesn’t actually exist.

People with dementia often have trouble distinguishing between past and present events[9]. Your aunt might be remembering a letter from long ago or confusing a real memory with something imagined. The emotional impact feels very real to her, regardless of whether the letter exists or not.

Dementia can also cause intense mood swings and heightened emotional responses[13]. Something that might seem minor to others could trigger strong feelings in someone with dementia. Your aunt’s sadness over this perceived missing letter likely feels very genuine and overwhelming to her.

It’s important to respond with compassion and avoid arguing about the reality of the situation. Instead, try to comfort your aunt and redirect her attention to more positive topics or activities. Validate her feelings without reinforcing any false beliefs. You might say something like, “I’m sorry you’re feeling upset. Would you like to look at some family photos together?”

Remember that your aunt isn’t choosing to behave this way. Her dementia is causing these confusing and distressing experiences. With patience and understanding, you can help her through difficult moments like this one.