Aunt Sally’s Toy Car Table Setting: A Window into Dementia’s World
When your aunt with dementia sets the table with toy cars instead of silverware, it’s a glimpse into how her brain now perceives and interacts with the world around her. This behavior, while unusual to us, makes perfect sense to her in that moment.
Dementia causes changes in the brain that affect memory, thinking, and judgment[1]. Your aunt may have forgotten the purpose of silverware or mixed up the categories of “small objects that go on the table.” In her mind, the colorful toy cars might seem like the right items to use.
This kind of mix-up is common in mid-stage dementia. People often struggle with everyday tasks and may use objects in ways that seem strange to others[5]. It’s not that your aunt is being difficult – her brain is simply processing information differently now.
For family members, seeing these changes can be confusing and even a bit sad. But try to approach it with patience and understanding. Your aunt isn’t doing this on purpose, and getting upset will only cause stress for both of you.
Instead, gently redirect her. You might say, “Those cars look fun! How about we put them aside and use these forks and spoons for dinner?” Then help her set the table correctly. This maintains her dignity while still accomplishing the task[11].
It’s also worth noting that this behavior could be your aunt’s way of trying to participate in family life and be helpful, even if she’s not quite getting it right. Encouraging her efforts, within reason, can boost her self-esteem and sense of purpose.
Sometimes, people with dementia find comfort in repetitive actions or handling familiar objects. The toy cars might provide a soothing sensory experience for your aunt. If that’s the case, you could set up a special activity corner where she can play with the cars without disrupting mealtimes.
While it may be tempting to simply take over all household tasks, allowing your aunt to participate in simple, safe activities can be beneficial. It helps maintain some independence and routine. Just be sure to supervise and assist as needed to prevent any safety issues.
Remember, your aunt’s perception of reality has changed. What seems odd to you is her new normal. Approaching these situations with compassion, creativity, and a bit of flexibility can make daily life smoother for everyone involved.
If you’re finding it challenging to manage these behaviors, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Dementia care specialists can offer strategies tailored to your aunt’s specific needs. They might suggest ways to simplify tasks or create a more dementia-friendly environment at home.
Ultimately, your aunt’s toy car table setting is just one of many ways dementia might manifest. By staying patient, adaptable, and focused on your aunt’s well-being, you can navigate these changes together and still find moments of connection and joy.
