Why does my relative with dementia think their childhood home still exists?
Dementia can cause a person’s memory to become jumbled, especially when it comes to time and place. For someone with dementia, memories from long ago often feel more real and vivid than recent events. This is why your relative might believe they still live in their childhood home, even if that house no longer exists.
As dementia progresses, a person’s brain has trouble processing new information and holding onto recent memories. But older memories, especially from childhood, tend to stick around longer. These memories feel safe and familiar. When your relative talks about their childhood home, they’re likely reliving those comforting memories from the past.
It’s also common for people with dementia to confuse different time periods. They might mix up memories from various stages of their life, making it hard to keep track of what happened when. So in their mind, that childhood home could feel just as real as the place they lived last year.
Sometimes, saying they want to go to their childhood home is a way of expressing that they feel lost or uncomfortable. “Home” becomes less of a physical place and more of a feeling of security and comfort. When they ask to go home, they may really be saying they want to feel safe and cared for.
It’s usually not helpful to argue or try to convince them their childhood home is gone. This can lead to frustration and distress for both of you. Instead, try to understand the emotions behind what they’re saying. You could ask them to tell you about their childhood home or look at old photos together. This validates their feelings and allows them to share happy memories.
If they insist on going to their childhood home, you might say something like, “We can’t go there right now, but tell me what you loved about that house.” This redirects the conversation in a positive way without directly contradicting them.
Remember, your relative isn’t being difficult on purpose. Their brain is struggling to make sense of time and place. By responding with patience and understanding, you can help them feel more secure in the present moment, even as their mind wanders to the past.
