When a loved one with dementia repeatedly says, “I want to go home,” it often reflects deep emotional needs rather than a literal desire to leave their current place. This phrase is a common expression of anxiety, confusion, fear, or a longing for comfort and familiarity, rooted in the cognitive and emotional changes caused by dementia and Alzheimer’s disease[1].
Dementia damages the brain areas responsible for memory, orientation, and perception, causing individuals to experience their surroundings differently. As a result, they may feel disoriented or unsafe, even in familiar environments. Saying “I want to go home” can be a way to communicate distress, a need for reassurance, or a search for a place where they feel secure and loved[1].
Several factors contribute to this behavior:
– **Disorientation and Memory Loss:** Dementia impairs the ability to recognize current surroundings or remember where they are, leading to confusion. The person may believe they are still living in a previous home or time period, prompting them to ask to go “home,” which may be a place from their past[4].
– **Emotional Distress and Anxiety:** Feelings of fear, loneliness, or frustration are common. The phrase can be a call for comfort and emotional support, signaling that the person feels vulnerable or unsettled[1].
– **Wandering and Searching Behavior:** Some individuals with dementia wander or try to leave because they are searching for something familiar or trying to satisfy unmet needs like hunger, thirst, or the need to use the bathroom. This wandering can be a physical manifestation of the desire to “go home”[4].
– **Response to Overstimulation:** Loud noises, multiple conversations, or unfamiliar visitors can overwhelm a person with dementia, causing them to seek escape to a perceived safe place, often expressed as wanting to go home[4].
– **Reliving Past Routines:** Sometimes, the request to go home is linked to a routine or responsibility from earlier in life, such as going to work or picking up children, reflecting how dementia can cause people to live in past memories[4].
Understanding this behavior is crucial for caregivers and family members. The best approach is to respond with calmness, reassurance, and empathy, validating the person’s feelings rather than contradicting them. For example, instead of insisting they are already home, caregivers can say things like, “You’re safe here with me,” or “Tell me about your home,” which helps to reduce anxiety and build trust[1].
It is also important to check for physical discomfort or needs that might be causing distress, such as pain, hunger, or the need to use the bathroom, as these can trigger repeated requests to go home[1].
In some cases, the person with dementia may be living in a care facility or a new environment, which can increase feelings of disorientation and the desire to return to a familiar place. Maintaining routines, familiar objects, and personalized care can help ease these feelings[3].
For safety, programs like the “Take Me Home” initiative exist to assist individuals with dementia who wander and become lost. These programs register personal information and photos to help law enforcement quickly locate and return the person safely[5].
In summary, when a loved one with dementia says they want to go home, it is a complex expression of their cognitive and emotional state. Recognizing it as a call for comfort, security, and understanding allows caregivers to respond effectively, ensuring the person’s dignity and well-being.
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Sources:
[1] DailyCaring – “I Want to Go Home” in Alzheimer’s: Try 3 Kind Responses
[3] Care.com – What to know about taking dementia patients out of their environment
[4] Alzheimer’s San Diego – Dementia Wandering: Causes, Risks, and How to Prevent It
[5] Alzheimer’s San Diego – What is the Take Me Home program?
