When Someone with Dementia Calls You by the Wrong Name
It can be upsetting when a loved one with dementia calls you by someone else’s name, especially a sibling’s name. This common occurrence happens because dementia affects the parts of the brain responsible for memory and recognition.
As dementia progresses, it becomes harder for the person to match names with faces or recall relationships correctly. They might recognize you as someone familiar and important, but struggle to pinpoint exactly who you are. So they may default to calling you by a name that feels right in the moment, often the name of a sibling or other close family member from their past.
This name mix-up doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten you entirely. Their brain is simply having trouble accessing the correct information. Deep down, they likely still know who you are and that you’re someone they care about.
Some other reasons this might happen:
– Dementia can jumble up memories from different time periods. Your loved one might momentarily think they’re in an earlier part of their life when their sibling was around more.
– As short-term memory declines, older memories often remain intact longer. So they may more easily recall people from their youth.
– Visual changes from aging or dementia can make it harder to distinguish faces clearly.
– Stress or being in an unfamiliar environment can worsen confusion.
While it’s natural to feel hurt, try not to take it personally or correct them harshly. Instead, gently remind them of who you are or simply respond to whatever name they use. The emotional connection is more important than getting the name right.
Focus on having a positive interaction and making your loved one feel comfortable and loved. With patience and understanding, you can still have meaningful time together, even if they sometimes call you by the wrong name.
