Why do I get upset when things aren’t in the “right” place?

Have you ever felt a surge of frustration when you can’t find something where you expect it to be? Or maybe you get annoyed when someone moves your stuff around? If so, you’re not alone. Many people experience distress when things aren’t in their “right” place. Let’s explore why this happens.

Our brains love order and predictability. When we organize our surroundings, we create a sense of control over our environment. This feeling of control helps us feel safe and reduces stress. So when things are out of place, it can trigger feelings of anxiety or irritation.

For some, this need for order stems from childhood experiences. If you grew up in an unpredictable or chaotic environment, you might have developed a strong desire for structure as a coping mechanism. Keeping things in their proper place became a way to create stability in an otherwise uncertain world.

Personality also plays a role. Some people naturally have a higher need for order and symmetry. This trait can be beneficial in many areas of life, but it can also lead to distress when things aren’t perfectly arranged.

In some cases, an extreme need for order might be a sign of obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD). People with OCPD have an overwhelming need for orderliness that can interfere with their daily life and relationships[1]. However, it’s important to note that being upset by disorganization doesn’t necessarily mean you have a disorder.

Our modern, fast-paced lives can also contribute to this phenomenon. In a world where we’re constantly bombarded with information and stimuli, having an organized physical space can provide a sense of calm and control. When that order is disrupted, it can feel like adding chaos to an already hectic life.

So what can you do if you find yourself getting upset when things aren’t in the right place? First, recognize that it’s a common feeling. Then, try to identify the root cause of your distress. Is it about control? Safety? Efficiency? Understanding your motivations can help you address the issue more effectively.

Consider practicing flexibility. Start small by intentionally leaving one thing out of place and sitting with the discomfort. Over time, this can help reduce your stress response to disorder.

Remember, while order can be helpful, it’s also important to find a balance. A little disorder can sometimes lead to creativity and new perspectives. And ultimately, your well-being is more important than having everything in its perfect place.