What to say when a loved one insists someone is in the room

When a loved one insists that someone is in the room, it can be confusing and even unsettling. The best approach is to respond with calmness, kindness, and understanding rather than confrontation or dismissal. A gentle way to start is by acknowledging their feelings without directly challenging their perception. For example, you might say, “I see that you feel someone is here. Can you tell me more about what you’re experiencing?” This shows you are listening and respecting their reality.

It’s important to avoid arguing or trying to convince them that no one is there, especially if the person is dealing with conditions like dementia, grief, or mental health challenges. Instead, focus on their emotions and what they might be trying to express. You could say something like, “It sounds like you’re feeling a bit scared or uneasy. I’m here with you.” This kind of reassurance helps them feel safe and supported.

If the situation is related to a mental health issue, try to stay patient and avoid labeling or diagnosing. Listening carefully and reflecting back what they say can build trust. For example, “You’re worried about this person being here, and that feels real to you right now.” This approach respects their experience without escalating the situation.

Sometimes, distraction or gentle redirection can help. You might suggest doing a calming activity together, like having a cup of tea or listening to music, to shift their focus. If the person is open to it, encouraging them to share their feelings or fears can also be helpful.

Above all, keep your tone soft and your body language relaxed. Showing that you are present and supportive can ease their distress. If the experience is frequent or worsening, consider seeking advice from a healthcare professional who can provide guidance tailored to your loved one’s needs.

In moments like these, your calm presence and empathy are the most important things you can offer.