Talking to adult children about protecting a parent with dementia from scams requires sensitivity, clarity, and practical planning. Start by explaining that dementia can make a parent vulnerable to financial exploitation because it affects memory, judgment, and decision-making. Emphasize that the goal is to protect their parent’s independence while ensuring their safety.
Begin the conversation by sharing common types of scams targeting seniors, such as fake IRS calls, tech support fraud, and “grandparent” scams. Help adult children understand how these scams work and why someone with dementia might be more susceptible. Encourage them to watch for warning signs like sudden changes in spending habits, unexplained withdrawals, or unusual gifts, which could indicate exploitation[1].
Next, discuss the importance of legal safeguards. Setting up a durable power of attorney (POA) is crucial. This legal document allows a trusted person to manage the parent’s financial affairs if they become unable to do so themselves. Stress the need to choose an agent with integrity and financial competence. Some families appoint co-agents or require regular accountings to a third party to prevent misuse[1][5].
Encourage adult children to establish clear family communication protocols. For example, agree that no financial decisions should be made under pressure, and any requests for secrecy about money are red flags. Suggest that before sending money or making large purchases, the parent or caregiver should consult with a family member. This helps create a support system that balances independence with oversight[2].
Implementing practical systems can also help. Using shared family finance dashboards or apps allows multiple family members to monitor bills, subscriptions, and bank accounts. This transparency can catch suspicious activity early without overwhelming the parent[2]. Additionally, setting withdrawal limits on accounts and requesting vulnerable customer protections from banks can add extra layers of security[2].
It is important to be vigilant for signs of abuse within the family as well. Sometimes, adult children or other relatives may exploit a parent’s dementia for financial gain. Watch for unusual spending patterns, such as frequent ATM withdrawals at odd locations or purchases that don’t fit the parent’s habits. If abuse is suspected, gather documentation like bank statements and seek legal advice. If a family member holds power of attorney but is abusing that role, it is necessary to intervene and protect the parent’s interests[3][4].
Finally, encourage adult children to work with professionals such as elder law attorneys, financial advisors, and social workers. These experts can help set up estate plans, trusts, and legal protections tailored to the parent’s needs. They can also guide families through reporting suspected abuse to authorities and taking steps to recover lost assets[1][5].
Sources
https://frankkraft.com/resources/frequently-asked-questions/financial-exploitation-of-seniors/
https://www.knowyourdosh.com/blog/help-aging-parents-manage-finances-avoid-scams
https://pameladwilson.com/how-to-stop-elderly-abuse-of-parents-by-adult-children/
https://www.breakingbullying.com/financial-exploitation-in-families-protecting-seniors-from-abuse/
https://www.collinsfamilylaw.com/blog/2025/november/legal-options-to-prevent-elder-abuse/
https://getcarefull.com/articles/what-financial-institutions-need-to-know-about-new-elder-financial-exploitation-laws
https://guides.loc.gov/personal-finance/life-stages/Elder-care
https://www.assuredassistedliving.com/how-to-keep-family-relationships-strong-with-alzheimer-s
