When dementia took hold of my mom, one of the hardest things we faced was her growing paranoia. It wasn’t just forgetfulness or confusion—it was this deep suspicion that people around her were out to harm or deceive her. She started accusing family members of stealing from her, doubting their intentions, and sometimes even thinking strangers were plotting against her. Watching someone you love lose trust in those closest to them is heartbreaking and confusing.
Paranoia in dementia isn’t about malice or stubbornness; it’s a symptom rooted in how the disease changes the brain. Dementia affects areas responsible for processing information logically and emotionally, especially parts like the frontal and temporal lobes. These changes can make it hard for someone to piece together what’s real versus what their mind fears might be true. This kind of mistrust often appears in conditions like Alzheimer’s or Lewy body dementia as they progress.
For us, coping with my mom’s paranoia meant learning to separate the person she was from the illness controlling some of her thoughts. We had to remind ourselves that when she accused us unfairly, it wasn’t personal—it was confusion amplified by neurological damage.
Here are some ways we managed:
– **Patience became our anchor**: Instead of arguing or trying to convince her otherwise (which only made things worse), we listened calmly and reassured her gently without dismissing how she felt.
– **Creating a safe environment**: We minimized triggers that could spark suspicion—like keeping valuables visible but secure so she wouldn’t worry about theft—and maintained consistent routines so she felt more grounded.
– **Clear communication**: Using simple language helped reduce misunderstandings. Sometimes repeating information calmly helped ease anxiety when reality seemed unclear to her.
– **Professional support**: We worked closely with doctors who understood these behavioral symptoms as part of dementia—not just mood swings or personality quirks—and they guided us on managing episodes with non-medication approaches first before considering any drugs.
– **Self-care for caregivers**: Supporting someone through paranoia is exhausting emotionally; finding support groups and taking breaks helped us stay strong for Mom without burning out ourselves.
One particularly tough moment came when Mom believed a neighbor had stolen something important from her house—a claim completely unfounded but very real in her mind at that time. Instead of confronting this head-on, we acknowledged how upsetting losing something felt while gently checking all possible places together until calm returned.
Living with dementia means facing many challenges beyond memory loss—paranoia is one such challenge that can strain relationships if misunderstood. But understanding its roots helps families respond with compassion rather than frustration, making daily life more bearable for everyone involved—even amid uncertainty and fear caused by this cruel disease.
