One Conversation Changed Everything for My Dad with Dementia
**One Conversation Changed Everything for My Dad with Dementia**
Living with a loved one who has dementia can be incredibly challenging. The disease affects not just the person with dementia but also their family and caregivers. It’s a journey filled with ups and downs, but sometimes, a single conversation can make all the difference.
My dad was diagnosed with dementia a few years ago. At first, it was hard to see him struggle with everyday tasks and memories. He would forget important dates, names, and even where he put things. It was heartbreaking to watch him go through this.
One day, I had an idea that changed everything. I realized that my dad wasn’t just losing his memories; he was still the same person he had always been. He just needed to be understood and loved in a different way.
I decided to sit down with him and have a conversation that would help him feel more connected and less confused. Here’s what I did:
### Entering His Reality
A psychologist once shared a beautiful piece of advice: “Enter into his reality and enjoy it.” This means that instead of trying to bring him back to the present, I should join him in his past world. So, I started asking him about his childhood, his parents, and his favorite memories.
For example, if he mentioned his mom and dad being alive, I wouldn’t correct him. Instead, I would ask him more questions about them. This way, he felt like he was still talking about people he loved, even if they were no longer with us.
### Showing Respect and Understanding
When talking to someone with dementia, it’s crucial to show respect and understanding. Here are some tips that helped me:
– **Speak Directly**: I made sure to speak directly to my dad, not just to the people around him. This made him feel included and important.
– **Use His Name**: Using his name when talking to him made him feel more connected. It was like I was reminding him that he was still there.
– **Be Interested**: I asked him questions about his life, his interests, and his favorite stories. This kept him engaged and happy.
– **Actively Listen**: I made sure to listen carefully to what he was saying. Sometimes, he would repeat the same story over and over, but I didn’t mind. Each time, it was like hearing it for the first time.
– **Provide Validation**: If he said something that seemed wrong or untrue, I wouldn’t correct him. Instead, I would validate his feelings by accepting what he said. For example, if he thought his kids were coming home from school, I would respond to his statement without contradicting him.
### Creating a Calm Environment
The environment we create can also play a significant role in how our loved ones with dementia feel. Here are some tips that helped me:
– **Reduce Noise**: I made sure to get rid of competing noises like TV and radio. This helped him focus on our conversation.
– **Stay Still**: I stayed still while talking to him. This made him feel more at ease.
– **Keep Routine Regular**: I tried to keep his routine regular. This helped him feel more secure and less confused.
### One Special Conversation
One conversation that stands out in my mind was when my dad told me that my calling him “Dad” freaked him out. He said he had feelings for me and knew I was important to him, but he didn’t think he was my dad. He also said he didn’t want to hurt my feelings.
I explained how I felt about him and offered to call him Scott if he preferred. The whole interaction was beautiful. It showed me that even though he didn’t remember everything, he still had feelings and emotions.
### Conclusion
Living with dementia is not easy, but it’s not impossible either. By entering our loved ones’ realities, showing respect and understanding, and creating a calm environment, we can make a significant difference in
