When someone with dementia accuses you of something untrue, it’s important to remember that their feelings and perceptions are very real to them, even if the facts don’t match up. The best way to respond is with calmness and kindness rather than trying to argue or prove them wrong. Arguing often makes things worse because dementia affects their ability to reason and remember clearly.
Start by **validating their feelings**. You might say something like, “You seem upset, I want to help,” which shows you care about their emotions without challenging their statement directly. This helps reduce their anxiety and makes them feel heard.
Instead of contradicting them, try to **redirect their attention** to something else. For example, if they accuse you of taking something, offer to help look for it together or gently change the subject to a pleasant activity. This distraction can ease their distress and prevent escalation.
Keep your tone gentle and your body language open. Use **simple, clear language** and speak slowly to help them understand you better. Nonverbal cues like a reassuring touch or eye contact can also provide comfort.
If the accusation is part of a pattern of suspicion or confusion, it can help to keep important items in obvious places and maintain a tidy environment to reduce triggers for these feelings.
Above all, try to stay patient and remember that the accusation is a symptom of the disease, not a personal attack. Your calm, compassionate response can make a big difference in how they feel and how the situation unfolds.
