Why is my grandmother with dementia setting the table for guests who aren’t coming?

Grandma’s Imaginary Dinner Party: Understanding Table-Setting Behavior in Dementia

Your grandmother’s habit of setting the table for guests who aren’t coming is actually a common behavior seen in people with dementia. This might seem odd or confusing, but there are several reasons why she might be doing this.

First, it’s important to understand that dementia affects memory and thinking skills. Your grandmother might be remembering past events or routines, like hosting dinner parties, and acting them out in the present. She’s not trying to be difficult or confusing – her brain is simply mixing up past and present.

Another reason for this behavior could be that your grandmother is trying to maintain a sense of purpose and normalcy. Setting the table is a familiar task that she probably did many times throughout her life. Doing it now might make her feel useful and give her a sense of accomplishment.

Sometimes, people with dementia experience what’s called “time-shifting.” This means they might think they’re living in a different time period. Your grandmother might believe it’s a day when she’s expecting guests, even if that event happened years ago.

It’s also possible that your grandmother is experiencing hallucinations, which can be a symptom of some types of dementia. She might actually see or hear guests that aren’t really there.

Lastly, this behavior could be a way for your grandmother to connect with her past and with loved ones. Setting the table might bring back happy memories of family gatherings or social events.

While it might be tempting to correct your grandmother or try to stop this behavior, it’s often better to go along with it, as long as it’s not causing any harm. You could even join in and help her set the table, using it as an opportunity to spend time together and reminisce about past gatherings.

Remember, your grandmother isn’t doing this to be difficult. It’s a symptom of her condition, and approaching it with patience and understanding can help make the situation easier for everyone involved[1][2][4].