Why is my uncle with dementia trying to “go home,” even though he’s already there?

When someone with dementia says they want to “go home,” even when they’re already at home, it can be confusing and upsetting for family members. This behavior is actually quite common in people with dementia and Alzheimer’s disease.

There are a few reasons why your uncle might be saying he wants to go home:

First, dementia affects memory and can make familiar places seem unfamiliar. Your uncle’s brain may not recognize his current surroundings as “home,” even if he’s lived there for years. To him, it might feel like a strange place.

Second, when someone says they want to go home, they often mean they want to feel safe, comfortable, and cared for. Your uncle may be expressing a need for security and familiarity rather than literally wanting to go to a specific place.

Third, people with dementia sometimes get stuck in memories from the past. Your uncle might be thinking of a childhood home or a place he lived years ago. In his mind, that could be “home.”

Fourth, changes in environment or routine can be very disorienting for people with dementia. If your uncle has recently moved or had changes in his care, he might be expressing a desire to return to what’s familiar.

Lastly, saying “I want to go home” can be a way of communicating other needs or feelings. Your uncle might be tired, hungry, uncomfortable, or anxious, and not know how else to express it.

When responding to your uncle, try to address the emotion behind his words rather than arguing about his location. Offer reassurance and comfort. You might say something like, “You’re safe here. Let’s sit down and have a cup of tea together.” Or try redirecting him to a familiar activity he enjoys.

Creating a calm, familiar environment can also help. Put out family photos or objects that have meaning to your uncle. Play music he likes. Stick to routines as much as possible.

Remember, your uncle isn’t trying to be difficult. His brain is struggling to make sense of the world around him. With patience and understanding, you can help him feel more at ease, even if he can’t recognize “home” in the way he used to.