Why is my grandfather with dementia calling his pillow his “old friend”?

Grandpa’s Pillow: A Comforting Old Friend

When someone has dementia, their brain works differently. They might forget things or get confused easily. This can make the world feel scary and unfamiliar. That’s why your grandfather might be calling his pillow his “old friend.”

For people with dementia, objects can become very important. A pillow is soft, always there, and doesn’t change. It’s comforting when everything else feels strange[1]. Your grandfather might feel safe and happy when he hugs his pillow, just like we feel good hugging a friend.

Sometimes, people with dementia see objects as more than what they are. A pillow might remind your grandfather of a pet he once had or a person he cared about[4]. The pillow becomes a stand-in for those memories and feelings.

Calling the pillow a friend isn’t harmful. It’s actually a good thing! It means your grandfather has found something that makes him feel secure and loved[12]. This is called a “transitional object” – it helps him cope with the changes in his mind.

You can help by treating the pillow with respect. Don’t try to take it away or tell him it’s just a pillow. Instead, you could say things like, “I’m glad you have such a good friend to keep you company.”

Some care homes even give special pillows or stuffed animals to people with dementia. These can help calm anxiety and provide comfort[12]. It’s a simple way to make life a little easier for someone dealing with memory loss.

Remember, your grandfather isn’t being silly or childish. His brain is coping the best way it can. By accepting his relationship with the pillow, you’re showing him love and understanding during a difficult time.