Dementia can cause confusion and false beliefs, like your mother thinking the mailman is her childhood friend. This happens because dementia damages the brain, making it hard to remember things correctly or recognize people.
Your mom’s brain is mixing up memories and faces. She might see the mailman and think he looks familiar, so her mind fills in the gaps with an old memory of her childhood friend. This is called confabulation – the brain creates false memories to make sense of things it can’t fully understand anymore.
Dementia also affects the ability to tell time. Your mom might think she’s much younger than she is, so it seems normal that her childhood friend would be around. She’s not lying or making things up on purpose – her brain is just trying its best to make sense of the world with faulty information.
It’s common for people with dementia to misidentify people, even close family members. They might call their adult children by their siblings’ names or think their spouse is their parent. This can be really upsetting for families, but it’s just the disease talking.
Try not to argue with your mom about the mailman. It won’t help and might just upset her. Instead, you can gently redirect her attention or play along briefly before changing the subject. The important thing is that she feels safe and comfortable, even if her perception of reality is different from yours.
This behavior might come and go. She could recognize the mailman correctly sometimes and be confused other times. Dementia symptoms often fluctuate, so try to be patient and flexible.
If this is a new behavior, it’s a good idea to let her doctor know. They can check if there are any other health issues making her confusion worse or if her medications need adjusting.
Remember, your mom isn’t doing this on purpose. Her brain is working with broken tools, trying its best to make sense of the world. Your love and patience are the best medicine you can give her right now.
