Aunt Martha’s Napkin Collection: Understanding Hoarding in Dementia
Have you noticed your aunt with dementia stuffing napkins into her pillowcase? You’re not alone. This behavior, while puzzling, is actually quite common in people with dementia. Let’s explore why this happens and what it means.
First off, hoarding isn’t just about being messy or disorganized. For people with dementia, it’s often a way of coping with the confusion and anxiety they feel as their memory fades[1]. Your aunt might be holding onto napkins because they give her a sense of comfort or control in a world that’s becoming increasingly hard to understand.
Think about it: napkins are familiar, everyday items. They’re soft, easy to handle, and don’t take up much space. For your aunt, collecting them might feel like a safe, manageable task when other parts of her life seem overwhelming[1].
Sometimes, hoarding in dementia is linked to memories or past experiences. Maybe your aunt used to love hosting dinner parties, and napkins remind her of those happy times. Or perhaps she grew up during a time when resources were scarce, and saving things became a habit[1].
It’s also worth noting that as dementia progresses, people often lose the ability to distinguish between important and unimportant items. To your aunt, those napkins might seem just as valuable as family photos or important documents[1].
The pillowcase part is interesting too. It could be that your aunt is trying to keep her “treasures” safe and close by while she sleeps. The pillowcase might feel like a secure hiding spot to her[1].
Now, you might be wondering if this behavior is harmful. Generally, hoarding soft items like napkins is relatively harmless. However, it’s important to make sure the hoarding doesn’t create safety hazards, like making it hard to move around the room or increasing the risk of falls[3].
What can you do to help? First, try not to scold or argue about the napkins. Remember, this behavior is part of the disease, not a choice your aunt is making[1]. Instead, you could gently redirect her attention to other activities she enjoys. Or, if the napkin collection is becoming a problem, you might try gradually reducing the number of napkins available while providing a substitute comfort item[3].
It’s also a good idea to talk to your aunt’s doctor about this behavior. They might have additional suggestions or want to check if there are any underlying issues contributing to the hoarding[3].
Lastly, remember to be patient and compassionate. Dementia can be frustrating for everyone involved, but your aunt isn’t trying to be difficult. She’s doing her best to navigate a confusing world. Your understanding and support can make a big difference in her quality of life.
