Why We Want Everything Now Including Intimacy
Why do we want everything right now, including intimacy? It’s a question that touches on how our brains work and the world we live in today.
At the heart of this desire for instant gratification is something called dopamine. Dopamine is a chemical in our brain that motivates us to seek rewards. When we get something unexpected or exciting—like a new message, a like on social media, or even an intimate connection—dopamine spikes and makes us want more of that feeling. This creates a loop where the uncertainty and surprise keep pulling us back for more, much like playing a slot machine hoping for the next win. So when it comes to intimacy, just like with other rewards, our brains crave that rush of anticipation and connection right away.
Our modern environment feeds this craving constantly. Social media platforms are designed to deliver quick hits of pleasure through likes, comments, and shares. These small bursts trigger dopamine release repeatedly throughout the day. Over time, this can make waiting feel frustrating or even unbearable because our brains get used to immediate rewards.
This tendency isn’t just about technology; it’s deeply rooted in human nature too. Psychologists talk about “present bias,” which means people naturally value immediate rewards more than future ones—even if waiting would bring bigger benefits later on. This bias can lead us to choose short-term satisfaction over long-term happiness or growth.
When it comes to intimacy specifically, wanting things instantly can be linked to how vulnerable and important these connections are for us as humans. Intimacy involves trust and emotional closeness—things that traditionally take time to build but also provide powerful feelings of comfort and belonging once established. In today’s fast-paced world where many aspects move quickly—from dating apps offering instant matches to messaging services delivering rapid responses—the pressure builds for relationships themselves to happen quickly too.
However tempting immediate gratification feels, there are costs involved with always wanting everything now—including intimacy:
– It can reduce patience needed for deeper bonds.
– It may increase anxiety when expectations aren’t met immediately.
– It risks turning meaningful experiences into fleeting moments rather than lasting connections.
Some experts suggest practices like “dopamine detoxes” — taking breaks from constant stimulation — might help reset our brain’s reward system so we don’t become overly dependent on instant pleasures.
Ultimately though, understanding why we want everything now helps explain not only behaviors around technology but also how we approach relationships in modern life: seeking quick hits of connection while balancing the need for patience and depth beneath those surface desires.
