When a loved one with dementia expresses a desire to return to their old house, it can be both puzzling and heartbreaking for family members and caregivers. This behavior is more common than you might think, and understanding its underlying causes can help you respond in a compassionate and effective way.
## Understanding Dementia
Dementia is a broad term that describes a decline in cognitive function, including memory loss, difficulty with communication, problem-solving, and other thinking abilities. Alzheimer’s disease is the most common type of dementia, accounting for 60-80% of dementia cases[1]. As dementia progresses, individuals may experience significant changes in their perception of reality, leading to confusion and disorientation.
## Why the Desire to Go Home?
The desire to go back to an old house often signifies more than just a physical longing for a familiar place. It can be a manifestation of emotional needs, confusion, or a response to stress and anxiety. Here are some reasons why your loved one might express this desire:
1. **Emotional Comfort and Familiarity**: The old house may represent a sense of security and comfort, especially if it holds fond memories. People with dementia often seek familiarity as a way to cope with their confusion and disorientation[2].
2. **Stress and Anxiety**: Overstimulating environments, such as loud noises or too many people, can cause stress and anxiety, leading individuals to seek escape or a return to a perceived safe space[2].
3. **Disorientation and Confusion**: Dementia can impair spatial awareness and memory, making it difficult for individuals to recognize their current surroundings. They might genuinely believe they are not at home, even if they are in a familiar environment[1][2].
4. **Past Routines and Responsibilities**: If the desire to go home occurs at specific times of the day, it might be linked to past routines or responsibilities, such as going to work or picking up children[2].
5. **Basic Needs**: Sometimes, the desire to leave can be a result of unmet basic needs, such as hunger, thirst, or the need to use the bathroom, which they may have forgotten how to address[2].
## Managing the Situation
Responding to a loved one’s desire to go home requires empathy and understanding. Here are some strategies to help manage this situation:
1. **Redirection and Distraction**: Use gentle redirection to shift their focus away from the desire to leave. Engage them in a different activity or conversation to distract them from their current fixation[1].
2. **Validation Therapy**: Validate their feelings by acknowledging their emotions and concerns. This approach can help reduce anxiety and agitation[4].
3. **Environmental Adjustments**: Create a familiar environment by incorporating elements from their old home, such as furniture or decorations. This can help reduce disorientation and make them feel more at home[4].
4. **Addressing Underlying Needs**: Ensure that basic needs are met, such as providing regular meals and ensuring access to the bathroom. Also, check for any underlying medical issues that might be contributing to their behavior[5].
5. **Safety Measures**: If your loved one is prone to wandering, ensure their safety by installing safety devices at home or considering a secure care facility that can prevent them from leaving unsafely[2].
## The Role of Care Facilities
For some families, managing a loved one’s dementia at home becomes too challenging, especially if they exhibit aggressive behaviors or require advanced care. Care facilities specializing in dementia can provide a safe and supportive environment. However, it’s crucial to choose a facility that can meet your loved one’s specific needs and manage any challenging behaviors they may exhibit[3].
## Conclusion of Strategies
By understanding the underlying reasons for your loved one’s desire to return to their old house and implementing these strategies, you can help them feel more secure and comfortable in their current environment.
References:
[1] https://dailycaring.com/when-someone-with-alzheimers-says-i-want-to-go-home-3-ways-to-respond/
[2] https://www.alzsd.org/dementia-wandering-causes-risks/
[3] https://sunflowercommunities.org/finding-a-dementia-care-home/
[4] https://nicoletcollege.pressbooks.pub/nursingassistant/chapter/10-5-caring-for-clients-with-dementia/
[5] https://www.caregivercalifornia.org/2025/09/19/understanding-dementia-behavior-management-part-3-paranoia-hallucinations-and-delusions/
