Alzheimer’s disease is a progressive neurological disorder that affects the brain, leading to memory loss, cognitive impairment, and behavioral changes. It is a challenging illness, not only for the person diagnosed but also for their loved ones and caregivers. As the disease progresses, communication becomes increasingly difficult, and it’s essential to be mindful of what we say to someone with Alzheimer’s.
Here are some things you should avoid saying to someone with Alzheimer’s:
1. “Do you remember me?”
Asking someone with Alzheimer’s if they remember you can be frustrating and hurtful for both of you. It puts pressure on the individual to recall something they are no longer capable of remembering. Instead of asking this question, try reintroducing yourself with your name and relationship to the person. For example, “Hi, I’m Jane, your niece.”
2. “You already told me that.”
People with Alzheimer’s may repeat the same story or question multiple times. It is a common symptom of the disease, and pointing it out can be embarrassing for them. Instead, try acknowledging what they said and redirecting the conversation to a different topic.
3. “You are wrong; it didn’t happen that way.”
Arguing or contradicting someone with Alzheimer’s about their memories or beliefs can cause confusion and distress. It is best to avoid correcting them or trying to convince them otherwise. It’s essential to remember that their reality is different from ours, and it’s not our place to change it.
4. “You’re not making any sense.”
It can be tempting to dismiss what someone with Alzheimer’s is saying as nonsensical, but to them, it makes perfect sense. Using phrases like “I don’t understand” or “Can you explain further?” can help facilitate better communication.
5. “You used to be so smart/ organized/ articulate.”
One of the most devastating aspects of Alzheimer’s is the loss of skills and abilities that a person once had. Reminding them of their decline can be hurtful and damaging to their self-esteem. Instead, try to focus on the present and find ways to engage them in activities they can still enjoy.
6. “You’re just being difficult/ stubborn.”
As Alzheimer’s progresses, changes in behavior, mood swings, and agitation become more common. It’s crucial to remember that these are symptoms of the disease and not intentional actions. Blaming or labeling someone as “difficult” can make them feel guilty and misunderstood.
7. “You don’t need help.”
People with Alzheimer’s may have difficulty accepting help or may be in denial about their condition. It’s essential to be patient and empathetic when offering assistance. Instead of insisting, try asking if they would like some help with a specific task.
8. “You should remember that.”
Telling someone with Alzheimer’s that they should remember something can be frustrating for them. It is a symptom of their illness, and they cannot control it. Instead, try prompting them with visual cues or using gentle reminders.
9. “I wish you were more like you used to be.”
Alzheimer’s changes a person’s personality, and they may behave differently than they did before. Comparing them to their past self only highlights what they have lost. Accepting and loving them for who they are now is the best way to support them.
10. “It’s all in your head.”
People with Alzheimer’s have a legitimate medical condition that affects their brain. Dismissing it as something they can control or “get over” is insensitive and can cause further distress.
In conclusion, communication with someone with Alzheimer’s requires patience, empathy, and understanding. Avoiding these phrases and choosing our words carefully can help maintain a positive and supportive relationship with our loved ones who have this disease. Remember to focus on the present, acknowledge their feelings, and provide reassurance and support.
