What do I do if my loved one with Alzheimer’s won’t let me help them
According to the Alzheimer’s Association, over 5 million Americans are currently living with Alzheimer’s disease. This debilitating condition not only affects the individual, but also their loved ones who often become their primary caregivers. As the disease progresses, it becomes increasingly difficult for caregivers to help their loved ones with daily tasks and activities. One of the most challenging situations for a caregiver is when their loved one with Alzheimer’s refuses to accept help. It can be frustrating and heartbreaking to see them struggle and reject your assistance. In this article, we will discuss some tips on what to do if your loved one with Alzheimer’s won’t let you help them.
Understanding Alzheimer’s Behavior
Before we dive into ways to handle the situation, it is important to understand why your loved one with Alzheimer’s may refuse your help. The disease affects the brain and causes changes in behavior, thinking, and memory. This can make the person feel anxious, confused, and frustrated. They may also have trouble communicating their needs and understanding instructions. It is essential to remember that their refusal to accept help is not intentional or personal, but a result of the disease.
Find the Root of the Problem
When your loved one with Alzheimer’s refuses your help, try to identify the reason behind their behavior. It could be due to a variety of factors such as fear, lack of trust, confusion, or simply not wanting to give up their independence. Observe their behavior and try to understand what triggers their refusal. Are they comfortable with certain tasks? Do they have difficulty understanding your instructions? Identifying the root cause can help you find a solution that works for them.
Be Patient and Empathetic
Caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s requires immense patience and empathy. When they refuse your help, it is crucial to remain calm and approach them with kindness and understanding. Instead of getting frustrated or insisting on helping, try to acknowledge their feelings and validate them. For instance, you could say, “I can see that you want to do it yourself, but let me help you so we can do it together.”
Involve Them in Decision Making
People with Alzheimer’s often feel like they have lost control of their lives. Involving them in decision-making can give them a sense of autonomy and boost their self-esteem. Instead of forcing your help onto them, try to involve them in decisions regarding their care. For example, you could ask them which task they would like to do first or what they would like to wear for the day. This can help them feel like they still have a say in their daily routine.
Use Simple and Clear Instructions
Due to the changes in their brain, individuals with Alzheimer’s have difficulty following complex instructions. When trying to help them, use simple and clear language with step-by-step instructions. Avoid using technical terms or long sentences that may confuse them. Additionally, try to show them how to do a task instead of telling them. This can make it easier for them to understand and follow along.
Be Flexible and Creative
As Alzheimer’s progresses, your loved one’s abilities may change. What worked for them yesterday may not work today. Being flexible and creative with your approach can help you find new ways to assist them. For example, if they refuse to take a bath, try using their favorite scented soap or playing their favorite music to make the experience more enjoyable.
Seek Professional Help
It is essential to remember that caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s can be overwhelming and challenging. As a caregiver, it is crucial to take care of your own physical and emotional well-being. Seeking support from a professional counselor or joining a support group can provide you with valuable advice and help you cope with the difficult emotions that come with caring for someone with Alzheimer’s.
In conclusion, caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s who refuses your help can be a difficult and emotionally draining experience. It is crucial to remember that their refusal is not intentional and to approach the situation with patience, empathy, and understanding. By identifying the root cause of their behavior, involving them in decision-making, and using simple instructions, you can find ways to assist them while preserving their dignity and autonomy. Remember to seek help and support when needed, and take care of yourself as well.
