How We Grade Our Friends Like Employees

We often don’t realize it, but the way we judge our friends can be a lot like how bosses grade their employees. It might sound strange at first, but think about it: just as a manager looks at an employee’s performance, reliability, and attitude, we do something similar with our friends—even if we don’t mean to.

Imagine you have a friend who always shows up late. You might start to see them as unreliable. Or maybe another friend is great at listening and giving advice—you probably value them more for that reason. These are like performance reviews in the workplace.

There are other ways this happens too. If someone is always positive and supportive, they get extra points in your mind—just like an employee who boosts team morale gets noticed by their boss. On the other hand, if a friend is negative or brings drama all the time, you might start to pull away from them—similar to how managers deal with difficult employees.

Sometimes we even give our friends “grades” based on what they bring into our lives. Are they fun? Do they help us when things get tough? Are they honest? All these things matter when deciding who gets more of your time and energy.

It’s not that friendships should feel like work or that people should be treated as workers in your life. But noticing these patterns can help us understand why some friendships last while others fade away over time.

So next time you catch yourself thinking about which friends make you feel good or which ones drain your energy, remember: you’re not alone in grading your friendships this way!