How do I Deal with a Loved One with Dementia Forgetting How to go to the Bathroom?

Caring for a loved one with dementia can be tough, especially when they start to forget how to use the bathroom. This is a common challenge, but there are ways you can help make things easier and less stressful for both of you.

First, try to stay calm and patient. Your loved one isn’t forgetting on purpose—dementia affects memory and thinking skills. They might not remember where the bathroom is or what to do once they get there. Sometimes, they may not even realize they need to go until it’s too late.

One helpful step is setting up clear reminders. Place signs or pictures on the bathroom door so your loved one can recognize it easily. You could also use sticky notes with simple instructions inside the bathroom, like “Flush” or “Wash hands.” These visual cues act as gentle prompts throughout the day.

Routine helps a lot too. Try taking your loved one to the bathroom at regular times—after meals, before bed, and first thing in the morning—even if they don’t ask to go. This reduces accidents and gives them more chances for success.

If accidents happen often or your loved one seems confused about what steps come next in using the toilet, consider asking an occupational therapist for help. These professionals know all about toileting challenges and can suggest tools or changes that make things safer and easier at home.

Sometimes restlessness or agitation means your loved one needs something but doesn’t know how to say it—like needing the toilet but not remembering how to ask[4]. Watch for non-verbal signs such as fidgeting or pulling at clothes.

Finally, keep things familiar around them as much as possible[2]. Being at home with their usual routines helps people with dementia feel more comfortable and secure[2]. If you notice new problems with toileting that weren’t there before, talk with their doctor just in case something else might be going on besides dementia.

Remember: every person is different; what works well for someone else might not work exactly right for your family member—but trying out these ideas will help you find what fits best together over time without making anyone feel embarrassed about needing extra support now then again later down road ahead!